Breathe
by BeautifullyBroken23
Summary: "The girl who seemed unbreakable Broke... she dropped the fake smile and whispered to herself "I can't do this anymore." WARNING:Contains themes of Suicide and Self Harm
1. Chapter 1: Timeshel

_Hey everybody! So I just wanted to do a quick intro to this new story!_

_As you can see it's called Breathe, and I want to warn you that it will be a very_

_dark story. I personally think that it's different from what I've written in the past_

_and I really do hope that you guys all like it. You won't see it yet, but I do want this _

_story to make and impact. I would love for it to touch somebody in a good way in the _

_end. I hope you all love it though, and without further ado, here is chapter one, of Breathe._

_-BeautifullyBroken23_

Chapter 1: Timshel

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_The mirror can lie.  
Doesn't show you what's inside.  
And it, it can tell you you're full of life.  
It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile." _

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

The clear liquid falls down the milky skin of her cheek as she folds the paper before putting it in the envelope, sealing it, and setting it on top of the others. She promised herself that she wouldn't cry, she thought that she couldn't cry anymore. Yet here she is, blinking back tears.

Taking a deep breath she stands up, pushing her chair back, before grabbing the stack of letters and making her way to the door. She turns to look over the room once more. It's time to let it all go, say goodbye. She looks over the perfectly made bed, the tidy desk, and the pictures that sit on her nightstand. She would say that she is going to miss it, but she won't, she can't. It's impossible.

Slowly backing out of the room she shuts the door, before turning and making her way to the stairs. As she reaches the bottom she makes her way into the living room, setting the letters in a pile, before sitting down on the couch.

She sits for a while, taking in the quietness, taking in the peace. This is the way it will be from now on, except she won't be able to tell, or at least she doesn't think so.

The peace and quiet, it's like paradise to her, and that's exactly what this will be like. It will be a paradise. No pain, no hurt, no feeling. Nothing. Yet maybe there will be, and she doesn't know it. Either way, she won't have to worry about anybody finding out that she's hurting, and she won't have to act happy. Either way, she's ready for this. She's ready to go.

Looking up upon hearing a sound, the girl's eyes landing on her sister. Her sister gives her a look and she nods, getting up and walking over to her. She hands her the envelopes before giving the girl a wave, watching as she slips on her shoes, grabs her keys and leaves.

Her sister agreed to go drop the envelopes off at the people's houses for her, since she was going out anyways. She had told her sister that it was a game that they were all playing. It was the only way to get her to do it.

Looking up at the clock that hangs on the left wall of the entry way, she sees that she has about forty five minutes to do this before her sister gets back.

She quickly turns before walking over to the stairs, jogging up them before making her way into the bathroom. Crouching down she opens a cupboard, reaching back before grabbing the small paper bag and getting up again. She turns, locking the door before setting the bag down on the counter and walking over to the bathtub. She quickly turns some dials, making the water warm before putting the plug in the tub and letting it fill. She then turns, grabbing the bag before setting it on the ground, and crouching in front of the tub. She takes out the bottle of anti-depressants, setting them on the ledge of the tub, along with her phone, some scissors, and a bottle of water. She then crumples the bag before throwing it in the trash.

She begins to undress, until she is left in her bra and underwear before getting in to the tub. She picks up the bottle of anti-depressants, the girl opening the bottle before pouring a handful of them in her hand, before setting the bottle on the floor next to the tub. She sits staring at the pills for a few moments. She didn't think that she would second guess herself about this, yet here she is, debating whether or not to go through with it.

Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes, before putting the pills in her mouth, taking the bottle of water, before drinking some of it, painfully swallowing the pills. She then puts the cap on the water bottle before setting it on the floor next to the pills.

She picks up her phone, looking through a few messages before letting it drop into the water, before lying back in the water, her entire body submerged except for her head.

Looking over at the scissors, she lifts her hand out of the water, taking the scissors in it, before using her other hand to open them. She brings the blade up to her milky skin, the ruby red color of her blood now staining the milky skin of her arm. She takes a deep breath, as she slides the blade against her other wrist, letting her blood flow down her arm. She throws the scissors over the ledge of the tub before dropping her arms into the water, and closing her eyes. The pills are kicking in, her world becoming more and more blurry, and her mind fogging up. Her breathing is now shallow, and she smiles a little. Her paradise is just within reach now.

There will be no more pain and suffering for her, and she's okay with that. The darkness begins to pull at her, and instead of fighting to stay in the light, she accepts it, letting herself fall within it.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_The girls with prettiest smiles seem to tell saddest stories" _

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

Her eyes flutter open, the world one again coming into view. Her body is fighting it, but her mind is ready. She looks down at the water which is now a dark red color. She's on the verge of life and death now, and although her body is in pain, she's numb to it.

Resting her head back, she looks up at the ceiling.

Some say that this isn't the way to get through everything, but for her it is. What is life to her now? It's a bunch of dark days, with pain and suffering in them. Some would say that there is still a light, that there is still a way out, but not for her. Her light faded a while ago, her way out was lost a long time ago. All that she has left is a dark path leading her downward, and this is her attempt at finally finding peace. Her attempt at being happy. This is her paradise. She's completely broken, and as much as people try to fix her there is no way that she will ever be fixed.

"_Keep your chin up.", "Stay strong sweetheart." _Phrases that people continuously told her, as if she hasn't tried to stay positive, as if she hasn't _tried._ It's hard to stay strong when the darkness is pulling at you to just give up. And that's what she's done. She's given up.

What is life, if you all you feel is pain? She has asked herself this question so many times over the past few years, and her answer is, it's nothing. Life is absolutely nothing if all you feel is pain. It's just darkness, a black whole. It's pain.

What is happiness, if all you feel is pain? It's a fantasy. Happiness is fantasy if all you feel is pain, the only thing is, when all you feel is pain you don't think about happiness, so in a way happiness is a feeling that is so out of reach that there is no point in going after it.

She's searched for happiness for a while, and although she has found some within the people in her life, it hasn't taken her pain away. The way she sees it, by dying not only will it take away her pain, but it will free the people she loves from her problems as well, and in a way that makes her happy.

She tries to lift her hand to brush some hair off of her face, but is too weak to lift it. So taking a short shallow breath she once again closes her eyes.

Her breath begins to fade, and she doesn't struggle to find it. She just lets it go.

"Goodbye." She breaths as she lets the darkness completely consume her. Letting herself find paradise.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_With each stab of pain that we endure, the stronger the urge to give up becomes. Our light fades, and soon enough darkness consumes us. We no longer see the point in trying, and we lose all hope. Our lights eventually flicker out, and darkness becomes our life."_


	2. Chapter 2: Breath Me

_Hello again everybody, here is your second chapter! Hope you all like it! And don't forget to leave me a review telling me what you think, or what you would like to see!_

_-BeautifullyBroken23_

Chapter 2: Breath Me

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_To be happy, it first takes being comfortable being in your own shoes. The rest can work up from there."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

The blue and red lights flash as he parks his car on the side of the street. There are police officers, and a bunch of other people coming in and out of the house. "Oh god." He whispers, his heart dropping at the sight. When he got the call to come over here, nobody told him why, but he knows now that it's not good. He slowly gets out, his mission clear, he is going to find her and make sure that she is okay. The boy jogs towards the driveway, looking around, looking for her.

He slips beneath the caution tape, beginning to look for her. He ignores the multiple shouts of officers telling him that he needs to leave.

"Excuse me, you can't be back here!" An officer shouts after him, the man grabbing his arm, stopping him from going any further.

"Haley James, where is she?" He asks panic in his voice. "Where." He repeats as he continues to look around.

"Son, you need to go on to the other side of the tape." The officer says sternly.

"It's okay, I called him." The voice says from the yard, the officer looking over before nodding and going back to what he was doing.

"Brooke!" He shouts before jogging over to her.

"It's bad, it's really bad." She shakes her head. "There was so much blood." She adds as more tears slip down her cheek.

"What, what happened?" he asks instantly.

"Nathan…" She begins before pausing, the girl biting her lip before closing her eyes.

"Did somebody hurt her? I swear to go Brooke, if somebody…"

"She tried to kill herself." Brooke interrupts

"She…she what?" He asks before shaking his head. "No, no she's Haley. She wouldn't do that." He shakes his head.

"Come on Haley, breathe!" The voice causes them both to look over, watching as a woman straddles Haley's limp body, giving her CPR, trying to get her to live, to breathe.

"Oh god." He mumbles watching as they get the stretcher into the ambulance. He watches as they leave, the boy blinking back tears. "No." He whispers.

"Come on." Brooke says, tugging on his arm. "Nathan, come on, let's go to the hospital." She says once again, tugging on his arm, this time the boy nodding, following her to his car. "I'll drive." She says holding her hand out for his keys. He doesn't argue, he just hands her the keys before walking around the vehicle, before getting in.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_Death is a punishment to some, to others a gift and to many a favour."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

They walk in to the hospital, the boy walking as fast as he can to the front desk.

"We're here for Haley James." He says quickly. "Is she…how is she?" He adds, watching as the women looks on her computer, typing some things in.

"Haley James, she is in surgery right now, but we will let you know when she is out, and you are able to visit her." She tells him, the boy nodding before backing away.

He walks over to a chair and sits down, placing his head in his hands.

"I was supposed to spend the day with her." He shakes his head. "We were supposed to hang out, but I had to cancel to go to practice."

"Hey, none of us saw this coming." She shakes her head. "And even if you had spent the day with her today, it doesn't mean that she wouldn't have done it another day. None of us know why she did it, or if she had been planning it for a while." She adds before sitting next to him. "So don't blame yourself."

He just shakes his head before lifting his head, tear tracks clear on his cheeks.

"Somebody should call Lydia and Jimmy." He says before getting up and walking over to the doors, pulling out his phone before dialing their number. "Lydia, hi, it's Nathan. It's, um, it's Haley. Something happened. Call me back as soon as possible." He says before hanging up the phone. He leans back against the wall, fresh tears falling down his cheeks.

He's trying to wrap his head around this, so is Brooke. She had always smiled and seemed happy to them. Nobody would have guessed that she would do this. It didn't seem like her.

He didn't understand why she didn't talk to him if she was feeling depressed or hurt. Maybe he could have changed her mind. Maybe he could have stopped her.

Walking back over to Brooke he waits as she finishes her phone call.

"Luke, we'll explain when you get here. Just get here." She says before hanging up. "Hey, it's going to be okay, you know that right?" She asks and he shakes his head.

"What if it's not Brooke. What if she…" He pauses. "Oh god Brooke, what if she dies." He mumbles shaking his head when she tries to hug him. "I'm going to go walk around for a bit, I'll be back." He says before turning and walking away.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_The massacre bleeds red, the screams do grow, then silent night does come."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

He slowly walks into the small room, walking up to the front, grabbing a small match before lighting one of the candles. He then blows the match out before putting it in a small box that is left out for used matches. He then makes his way to one of the benches before sitting down.

The small place is empty, him being the only person in there. Normally he would avoid this place at all cost seeing as he isn't the best person in the world, but he's not here for himself, he's here for her.

"Um, God, look I don't know if your real or not, but if you are then I need your help." He begins biting his lip for a second; trying to hold back the new wave of tears that are trying to escape. "Haley, she's a good person. I know she didn't actually want to die, she just needs hope. Right now we all do. So please, please help her." His tears begin to fall down his cheeks, his heart once again breaking in two.

He sits in silence for a while, contemplating what to do, what to say next. "She's an amazing person. She's smart, and she's talented, and her light needs to stay lit. Look, I would be an asshole….a jerk, sorry, if it weren't for her. She's my best friend, and I can't live without her. Not after all of these years." He shakes his head.

They had been friends for who knows how long, and she had always been there for him. He loved her, and yes, romantically loved her, and he needed her to know that. She couldn't just disappear for good.

It had always been the three of them. Nathan, Brooke and Haley. The three musketeers of Tree Hill. Peyton joined their group when they were about ten, and then they were just that one group who didn't leave each other's side. Lucas didn't come in for a while seeing as he kept a low profile for a few years, but as soon as Nathan found out that he was his half-brother, they began a hate relationship. That is until Haley brought Lucas into the group, the girl trying her best to make them friends, and it eventually worked.

She was the glue to the group, and without her he's sure they will all fall apart.

"Just please don't take her from us." He whispers. "From me."

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

"_If I can't feel, if I can't move, if I can't think, and I can't care, then what conceivable point is there in living?" _


	3. Chapter 3: Lullaby

_Hi again everybody! So I am back with yet_

_another chapter! This one took me a little bit longer to write_

_as it was one that I needed to make sure was perfect. But I finished it!_

_I would like you all to welcome my new Beta for this story ktlynrose! _

_She has done a great job editing this chapter for me, and I am excited to work_

_with her for the rest of the story! I have created a twitter account for my fanfictions_

_so that you all can be up to date on what is happening, so go follow me BB23Official_

_Now, without further ado, here is chapter 3!_

_~BeautifullyBroken23_

_Chapter 3: Lullaby _

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

_"Sorrow sank deep inside my blood, and all the ones around me, I care for, and most of all I love. But I can't see myself this way, please don't forget me, or cry now that I'm away."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

The words life and death are thrown back and forth as he sits staring at the ground. The words coma, short and long term memory loss also being mentioned, as the group stands in front of him, discussing what will happen with her.

"Is she going to die?" He speaks up, his eyes not leaving the pale white cement of the floor.

"She lost a lot of blood, and those pills weren't the best thing for her body, but we are doing the best we can." The doctor replies, looking down at the ground as if to also avoid eye contact with him.

"Right." He whispers before getting up and walking past the crowd, making his way out through the door and down the hallway. He can hear a few of them shouting after him, but he ignores it as he heads for the next set of glass doors.

The fresh air hits him as he pushes the door open, the boy taking it all in as he walks out into the courtyard. The summer air is both warm, and refreshing at the same time. He wishes that all days could be this way, minus everything that is going on inside of the building.

He hears the door open behind him, and he curses under his breath. He just needs to be alone for a second; he needs to take a breather after all that has happened. Knowing all of his friends and her family though, he should have known that it wouldn't last long and that this would happen.

"Nate, the doctor wants you to come back so that he can finish explaining everything to everybody." The familiar voice says from behind him.

"I'm good thanks." He replies as he continues to look forward, out at the parking lot that leads off of the small courtyard.

"Nathan, please." The voice pleads. "It's something that we need to do for her, for when she wakes up."

"You mean if..." He comments icily. "If she wakes up."

"When." The voice amends him.

"If Lucas. If she wakes up!" He corrects before turning around. "If. Because right now all of those so called doctors are sitting around spitting out BS about comas and memory loss, instead of figuring out how to help her!" He pauses for a second to lower his raised voice. "I don't give a crap as long as she wakes up."

"I know, but Nathan, what else are we supposed to do?" Lucas asks. "You say that the doctors aren't doing anything, but there isn't anything that they can do at this point. It's a waiting game now."

"I guess." Nathan shakes his head. "Tell the doctor that he can talk to me later. I'm just going to go home for now." He says as he takes a few steps backwards. "Call me if there are any changes." He adds before turning around and walking towards the wooden gate that leads out of the courtyard. He quickly walks out of it to his car and drives away.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

_"With blood falling from my wrists and tears falling from my eyes… I have written dark thoughts between the lines."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

He slowly walks up to his front door, his body exhausted but his mind alert. He quickly opens the mail box, grabbing the few envelopes that sit inside before walking into the house. He kicks off his shoes before by passing the living room, not wanting to talk to his parents at the moment. He quickly walks over to the dining room table. He shuffles through the mail, taking out one envelope that has his name written across it in familiar hand writing, before he throws the rest on the table and walks out of the room.

He jogs up the stairs, making his way to his room. Once inside, he locks the door behind him, sets his phone and keys on the dresser and sits on the bed before ripping the envelope open. He bites his lip as he unfolds the piece of paper, the boy trying his best to avoid showing any kind of emotion. He looks over the first two words, already beginning to know what the letter is.

_Dear Nathan,_

_Over the past few months darkness has begun to fill my life, and the light has begun to disappear. My smile hid it for a while, but I couldn't keep smiling. Not anymore._

_I know that this is going to hurt you, and I'm sorry for that, I really am, but I couldn't take the pain any longer. It was the only way out, the only way to get rid of it all and finally find peace._

_Pain is terrible, I know, and I'm sorry to make you go through it. But please promise me this, you'll stay strong. That was my problem and I know it. I wasn't strong enough. I became overly weak, and then I gave up, but you, you are so strong, stay that way. Don't let your strength falter._

_Live and love. Be happy. Don't ever live in fear. Face the world with strength and courage. Be young and free. Act crazy and enjoy it all while you're still young. And when you get older, be responsible. Be a good guy. Never stop being young at heart. And never ever stop dancing in the rain._

_Know that when you graduate high school, when you get married, when that first little mini Nathan Scott comes, I will be there. I will always be there. Through thick and thin I will be watching over you, always._

_I want to thank you for always being there for me. No matter what, I always knew you had my back. I felt safe when I was with you, and I loved that. So, thank you._

_Now this might seem insensitive, but I want you to move on with your life. I know it will be hard, and I know you don't want to because I know you Nathan Scott. It might hurt, and it may be tough, but I need you to push forward and move on. I don't want you to sit around and dwell on the fact that I am gone for the rest of your life, like I said live and love._

_I love you, and I am always in your heart,_

_Haley_

He slowly sets the letter down, before running a hand over his face. He's doing his best not to crawl into a little ball and bawl his eyes out, her words hitting him like a wave in the ocean. Taking in a few deep breaths, he tries to blink back his tears and stay strong like she told him to.

How could he not see that she was hurting? She said that darkness began to take over her life. How did he not see that?

His head snaps up at the sound of his phone vibrating on his dresser. He instantly gets up to walk over to the dresser and look down at the phone. Brooke's name and picture flashes up at him, and he grabs the phone, pressing answer before holding it up to his ear.

"Is everything okay?" He asks instantly, unsure if he wants to hear the answer or not.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Brooke tells him, her voice soft and calm. "I was just wondering if you could pick some clothes up from my house on your way back over here."

"Oh yeah, sure... Anything else?"

"Um, the spare key is in the flower pot next to the door. There is a bag on my bed that already has clothes in it, so just grab that. Oh, and if you could grab the mail out of the box, that would be great too."

"Okay, I'll see you soon." He tells her before hanging up. He then goes into his closet and grabs his gym bag. He dumps all of the contents out onto the floor, pushes them to the side before grabbing a shirt, some sweatpants and a few other things to shove into the bag before walking out, grabbing his phone and keys and making his way back downstairs.

"Nate, where are you heading?" A voice says, causing the boy to stop in his tracks, take a deep breath and turn to face the person.

"Mom you're home." He says before giving her a small smile. "Hi." He adds before giving her a hug.

"So…?" she prompts questioningly as he pulls out of the hug.

"Oh, I'm, uh going to the hospital." He tells her before biting his lip.

"What? Why… are you okay?" she asks as she reaches out, grabbing his shoulder before examining him.

"Mom. Mom, stop." He says taking her hands in his, effectively removing them from his shoulders. "Haley, um… she's there." He informs her.

"Haley," She repeats slowly. "What happened?" She asks with a frown.

"Mom…" He begins before instantly snapping his eyes shut, determined not to cry in front of her. "Haley um, she tried to commit suicide." He finally says his voice merely a whisper.

"Oh my god, is she okay?"

"We don't know yet." He breathes out, shaking his head. "Mom I really need to go. If you want to, come to the hospital, somebody will explain it better there… I'll see you there." He adds as he turns to walk away and slip on his shoes before he walks out to his car.

His mind floods with different thoughts as he drives to Brooke's. He wishes he could just turn it all off for a little while.

He sighs as his car slides into Brooke's driveway, the boy quickly hoping out before going to find the spare key. He swiftly heads up to Brooke's room. He had only been in there a few times, but each time it surprised him how much of Brooke's room mirrored her true self. It wasn't hot pink, like you would think it was. Instead it was a deep dark shade of purple; there were quotes that were places on the walls, all in black. Her bed spread was black with accents of purple and white. Her room had a black dresser and desk. Most people knew Brooke as preppy, but over the years Nathan had figured out that she was very deep and dark a lot of the time, which is what he sees with the black. She is also very classy and sophisticated at times, which is where he figured the classical purple comes in, but then she always manages to add some light and put a smile on everybody's faces, hence the white.

Spotting the white bag sitting on the bed the boy grabs it and slings it over his shoulder. Then he walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. Making his way down the stairs he remembers that he needs to check the mail box. Walking to the door, he drops the bag before opening the door and peering around the corner. There he spots the box before opening it and taking out the envelopes that are inside. He then walks back into the house, setting the mail down on a small white table that sits in the entry way. He swallows hard when he spots the envelope with the familiar writing scrolled across it. He looks it over after picking it up. He carefully puts it in the side of Brooke's bag and picks it up, as he slips on his shoes and walks out the door to his car.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

_"I may look happy everyday…You might not know…But when I die…You'll read the truth in my Journal."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

As he walks through the crowd of people, his eyes are set on the growing group of familiar faces in the corner. He walks up to them, watching as some blink back tears, others stare out at the crowd with cold faces and others sit trying to comfort those who need it. He spots her sitting in a chair in the middle, tear tracks clear on her skin. She's got her feet up on the chair and she's hugging her knees to her chest, her face now cold.

"Brooke." He says softly as he approaches her. She looks up, all emotion gone in her eyes except for the sheer look of sadness that continues to shine out through them. "Hey." He whispers softly as he crouches next to her, the boy setting her bag next to her on the chair. "Here are your clothes." He adds as he sets a hand on her knee. "This," he begins as he pulls the letter out of his back pocket, where he had put it before walking in to the hospital. "Is for you." He tells her, watching as she reaches out her slightly trembling hand to grab it. She takes it, looking it over. The girl looks up at him as fresh tears begin to pool in her eyes.

"Is this…." She begins and knowing what she is about to say, he nods.

"Yeah, yeah it's from her." He says softly. "I got one too." He adds his voice a whisper. "You should go read it, somewhere away from everybody." He tells her, watching as she nods, before putting her feet on the ground and getting up.

"I'll be in the chapel." She says as she slowly walks away. He nods watching as she leaves before looking around at the faces surrounding him. There are people from school that know Haley, some teachers, and some of the people that she tutors. He spots the familiar face sitting in a chair, crowded by a few of the guys from the basketball team.

"Lucas." He says as he breaks through the small group. All of the guys give him a sympathetic look before patting his shoulder and walking away to give them a little bit of space to talk.

"Hey." Lucas whispers, his look of grief matching his own.

"Hey." He says quietly. "Um, Brooke, what happened to Brooke?" He asks. "I mean, when I left her she was holding up fairly well, but now she's…"

"The police came in and asked her a bunch of questions." Lucas says. "She broke down in the middle of answering one, and she's been like that since."

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

_"Broken wings can't fly. That's why no one can ever get off the ground."_

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

Looking down at the envelope she questions whether or not she really wants to open it. She doesn't want to feel more pain, yet she wants to know what she had to say. She wants to know why she did it, and why she didn't tell her so that she could help. Taking a deep breath she snaps her eyes shut, sending a silent prayer to a god that she isn't sure exists for strength while reading this letter. Opening her eyes she takes her trembling hand and opens the envelope, unfolding the letter and beginning to read the familiar handwriting.

_Dear Brooke,_

_I want to start off this letter by saying two important things. One, I love you so much Brooke Davis. And two, you have so much strength inside of you, and you are going to be okay. Some brunette once told me that strength comes from those who aren't afraid to be weak. Take your own advice Brooke. Don't be afraid to be weak, it only shows your strength. Now, knowing you in your mind right now you're asking, well me why I didn't take that advice, and here is my answer for you._

_I was weak, and I knew that. I was also okay with that, but it just became too much after a while. My mind soon became flooded with dark and terrible thoughts, and I went from being weak to being depressed. Yes, being depressed could count as being weak, but it's not always a kind of weak that you can pick yourself up out of._

_The darkness, it weights down on you like a billion weights on your shoulders. You struggle and fight to get back up, to stand strong, but the weight just continues to grow, until you are so deep inside of it that there is no way that you will ever get out. Yes, some people can get out. Some people never give up, and I thought that I was one of those people. But I wasn't. It crushed me Brooke. It crushed everything. It crushed everything inside of me; my spirit, my hope, my strength, my soul. It crushed me to the point where I was too broken to ever get up again. There was no longer any hope for me, no light at the end of the tunnel._

_Now, I have to say that I'm sorry that you had to find out the way you did. I called you and told you to come and pick me up at 4:00 pm for a reason. I knew that you would be the only one who could function properly when you found me. I knew that you were the only one who had enough strength to get you through it. But I wish you could have found out in a better way._

_I did the things that I did for a reason. I took those pills for a reason. I took the pills so that it would physically kill me. But I slit my wrists so that my soul could flow out of my veins as the blood left my body, so that it could finally be free of the darkness._

_I was finally able to have that weight lifted from my shoulders, and although I don't know if I will be able to feel it, I have a peace of mind at this moment knowing that it will happen._

_Brooke, I love you, and none of this was your fault, okay? I just couldn't take it anymore, but promise me this. Promise me that you will not blame yourself. There was absolutely no way that you could have changed my mind, so don't sit around playing the maybe game, or the what if game. I just need you to move on. I'm not saying that you have to forget about me, I'm just saying that you shouldn't let this make it so that you are never happy again._

_I love you Brooke Davis and will always be with you,_

_Haley_

She quickly brings her hand up to her cheek, whipping her tears away. She wants to find a hidden corner and just sit there bawling like a baby. She wants to go on a rage, smashing things against walls, breaking medical supplies. She wants to just fade away for a bit, to some place where she can try to find peace from all of this. Yet she knows that she needs to go back. Her friends need her and she knows that. But not only do they need her, but she needs them as well. Her strength not only comes from her, but it also comes from them.

Getting up she puts the letter back in the envelope. She folds it and puts it into her pocket as she walks towards the door. She sets her hand on the gold door knob for a second. But before turning the knob and walking out she looks back at the room. She is finally ready to face whatever comes next.

_**XxxxxxxxxX**_

_"The girl who seemed unbreakable broke… she dropped the fake smile and whispered to herself, 'I can't do this anymore'."_


End file.
